She is in my trunk
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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