More tranny stories later!
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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