there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
