He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
