My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My breasts were aching with rage.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
