just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
