I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
