I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
