i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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