We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
