Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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