yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
