Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
