i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
