hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
