idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
