I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
