i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
