so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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