My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
