i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
