you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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