I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
