They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
