we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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