Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
