Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
