Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
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