i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
