I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My sheets look like a crime scene.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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