is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
