So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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