i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
