Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
