WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
