No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Also, beer. Big fan.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
