when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
