She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
