small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
