We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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