the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
