you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
