hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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