...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
