i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
