You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
