I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
