we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
