If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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