Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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