dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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