return my video game
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
